El Noticiero de Alvarez Galloso

EL NI~NO, LOS HIPPIES, KIM: 1969

Al ver eso, el Ni~no Forastero comenzo a reirse. Parece mentira que la gente siguen a cualquiera. Resulta que los lideres tambien son humanos. Una cantante con el nombre de Britney Spears declaraba en una entrevista: “Porque tanta algarabia? Soy una chica que tira peos y eructos”.

El unico cambio ha sido la instalacion de una monarquia absoluta disfrazada como republica socialista. Existe el mismo arreglo en Corea del Norte [con Kim I, y Kim II], en EEUU [con los Republicanos y Democratas], Acerbaiyian [con los Aliyevs], y Siria [con los Assad]. Como esta de moda las monarquias republicanas, pienso que quizas debemos restaurar las monarquias en el mundo.

Dick Cheney and George W. Bush were having breakfast at the White House.The attractive waitress asks Cheney what he would like, and he replies, “I’d like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit… “And what can I get for you, Mr. President?”George W. looking up from his menu, replies with his trademark wink and slight grin,…. “How about a quickie this morning?” “Why, Mr. President!” the waitress exclaims “How rude! You’re starting to act like Mr. Clinton! As the waitress storms away, Cheney leans over to Bush and  whispers……….”It’s pronounced, ‘Quiche’

Another Comic Satire aimed at the US Elite of Washington and Hollywood.

The Republican and Democratic Elite in Washington and Hollywood have violated the cardinal rule in America of “If It Is Not Broken, Do Not Fix It”. The Republican and Democratic Elite in Washington and Hollywood remind me of the story of King Midas in reverse. For those who have read King Midas, King Midas was the King whose touch turned everything into gold.

The Republican and Democratic Elite in Washington and Hollywood have turned everything they touch from the Economy to Iraq into Disasters. The Republicans and Democrats Elite in Washington and Hollywood are Midas in reverse because they suffer from the fact that they are disasters.

The proof has been in the mismanagement of an economy using over regulation. The USA now has more debt than the countries of Asia, Latin America, and Africa combined. It takes all of the Republicans and Democratic in Washington to spend our hard earned money that we give them to buy themselves a Ten Million Dollar Toilet Complete with a Ten Million Dollar Plunger and a Ten Million Dollar Plumber. It also takes the Republican and Democratic Elite in Hollywood to take our hard earned money to celebrate the Ten Million Dollar Toilet, Ten Million Dollar Plunger, with Julia Roberts, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie playing the role of the Ten Million Dollar Plumber.

The Republican and Democratic Elite in Washington and Hollywood now want “We” the people of America to clean up the one hundred and fifty years of manure left by them. It is about time that “We” the people of America tell them to clean up their mess. The first thing is to force the resignation of Bush, Cheney, and members of the current government by impeachment or other peaceful proceedings before this waste of money called the US Elections. We should have a National Unity Government of National Concentration and Decentralization lead by Libertarians and Greens with the Elections going on as scheduled [but on a budget for all political parties].

The Republicans, Democrats, Communists, Nazis, and Racists should be made to do restitution by doing the work of undocumented workers [illegal aliens]. Let us add Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie to the group and call it “Life on the Farms” with an all star cast of our Politicians and the Hollywood Elite receiving what they deserve by working the fields.

We can even throw in some slapstick comedy by throwing rotten tomatoes, eggs, and manure of all type at them. After all, our US Elite our clowns by nature trying to act as something they are not. The same applies to the Hollywood Elite. We should also have the common people as their bosses as reassurance that these people do their work as they are told to do and not whine about it.

I could imagine Richard Gere attempting to meditate with Nancy Pelosi, Julia Roberts and Mike Huckabee about the significance of the manure around them and even thinking it is Channel Number Five.

Another slapstick comedy we could add is the sound of flatulence when they open their mouth. If you do not understand this, they are filmed working and talking. The people who do the dubbing and the writers who are in the Writers Guild of America Strike could add some sound effects of flatulence to the film section of when they open their mouth.

Other proposals would be to confiscate the bank accounts of Republicans, Democrats, Communists, Nazis, Racists, and the US Elite in Washington and Hollywood in order to help pay off the debt and to redistribute to those whose money was taken from them by the Tax Monster. It would also be great to do the same thing with the Wall Street Journal. This would not be a Government Initiative, it would be an initiative taken by the people of the USA themselves.

I do not have the solutions to the problems but I am willing to think that the difference between the US Elite in Washington DC and Hollywood and a bucket of manure is the manure itself.

I have decided to give buying Toilet Paper a Comic Vein.

While many people do not give thought on the purchase of toilet paper, it is time to think about it in our ever changing world. The way to start buying toilet paper in order to comply with the Kyoto Protocol is to buy the organic type. Most of the organic type is made from recycled paper and while expensive is much more useful than the conventional type.

When buying toilet paper, always look for the Organic Label to be sure that it does not have any chemicals or artificial colours. After all, a person’s butt would not want to have any colouring after cleaning up. There was a case in which a person cleaned his butt and thought that his butt was bleeding. After careful examination and after he received a clean bill of health, it was discovered that the toilet paper had artificial colouring and chemicals.

We have to remember also that when toilet paper is purchased, the way to use it should be taken into account. We The People should learn from Sheryl Crow and Company. Sheryl Crow is the Rock and Folk Singer from Missouri who was famous for her rendition of “All I Want To Do Is Have Some Fun” and the Cat Stevens [excuse me] Yusuf Islam song titled: “The First Cut Is The Deepest”. Sheryl Crow instructed We The People on the Proper Use of Toilet Paper by taking one small piece to clean our butts without taking into account that there are people who might want to use one or more pieces for butt cleaning. By learning how to use one small piece of toilet paper, we learn to have some fun while not feeling the deepest cut in our pocket books.

Returning to the purchase of Toilet Paper, another way to purchase toilet paper is to make sure that it is generic. Generic Organic Toilet Paper protects the butt from harmful ingredients and our pocket books from the deepest cuts monetary wise. Remember that we must adhere to the Kyoto Protocol in toilet paper. It is already enough that the Kyoto Protocol wants to punish humanity for the art of defecating and flatulence. Now we have to buy Toilet Paper that is Organic and Generic.

Para mi fiel lectores de El Noticiero Alvarez Galloso, les habla Roberto Alvarez-Galloso. Un dia en mi ordenador portatil, prendi la radio y television dentro de mi ordenador para ver el Canal 2 de Nicrargua. Fue un grato momento cuando vi por primera vez a NNN. Me moria de risas pues NNN es comedia pura. Me olvide de mis penas. Aqui tengo a los integrantes de NNN y para mi es un placer poder entrevistarlo.

RCAG: Me gustaría que los integrantes hablara de sus carreras en el mundo artístico sus comienzos y trayectoria.

NNN:Nos conocimos en 1997, mientras los dos tratábamos de ingresar al mundo de la radio difusión, éramos dos principiantes y ambos teníamos turnos diferentes en la emisora, para el año 2004 tuvimos la oportunidad de hacer nuestro primer programa de comedia en la radio juntos al cual llamamos LAS TAPAS DE LA DORITA y luego iniciamos el proyecto NNN.

Para mi, fue un placer poder y honor conversar con NNN. NNN por su comedia pura gano un fiel oyente de su programa aunque vivo en la Florida. Queria concluir que una vez siendo adolecente en el norte de los EEUU durante los inviernos fuertes, logre [puede ser un milagro] poder escuchar a Canal 2 de Nicaragua en mi receptor de onda corta. Fue en Enero 1977 dicha obra historica pues Canal 2 era una cadena de Television y escucharlo en mi receptor de onda corta fue un milagro.

Quiero desear a NNN y sus integrantes Feliz Navidad y Feliz A~no Nuevo. Tambien quiero desear al equipo de Canal 2 de Nicaragua Feliz Navidad y Feliz A~no Nuevo.

I had the honour of reading the history of the real King Arthur and seeing the movie version of King Arthur by Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

Monty Python’s Flying Circus was a parody of the history of King Arthur and of everything that is aristocratic. I managed to see it as a fourteen year old in 1976 and died laughing. I still have to recover from the monks sing the chants and then proceed to hit themselves on the head.

The funny part was when the battle between the English and French turned into a battle in which even cows were thrown at Castles. Another part of the comedy was when a writer was in his room hearing movements in the background. He proceeded to move down the stairs of his house to see the Sun and Moon dancing. The Writer silenced the Sun and the Moon and they returned to their places with the Moon shining.

Monty Python’s Flying Circus was a complement albeit a comic one to the History of King Arthur. In fact, those who read the history of King Arthur should see the Monty Python’s Version of King Arthur. It makes King Arthur look interesting. I go further, Teachers of the English Language and Literature should have their students read the history of King Arthur and then see the Monty Python Film of King Arthur.

He tenido el honor en morirme de la risa con NNN de Canal 2 de Nicaragua. Quiero extender una invitacion a NNN para ser entrevistado en mi revista electronica. Aunque las oligarquias de la izquierda y derecha dicen lo contrario, considero NNN uno de los mejores de la comedia. Por eso y mucho mas, extiendo mi invitacion. No pudo enviar un correo electronico por eso dedico este articulo y extiendo mi invitacion. Gracias.

En Ohio, es prohibido emborrachar a los peces en el rio.

Larry Craig [Senador Republicano del estado de Idaho] recibio el honor de Salon de la Fama en Idaho. Leccion para aquellos es los siguiente, puedes cometer un acto immoral y su estado natal lo puede premiar con sus premios prestigiosos.